


Waiting for the Lights

by Redjay27



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College Setting, Flashbacks, Fluff and a little agnst, M/M, Some Swearing, honestly this is just supposed to be a very heartwarming story, nothing more and nothing less
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 13:25:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17122211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redjay27/pseuds/Redjay27
Summary: Love at first sight is a rare luxury. For most, love isn't one big moment where everything in the world just shifts into place. Instead, love is made up of small moments that seem inconsequential at the time. But as time passes, those moments start to come together, forming a story that no one knew was being told. And so when the time comes, all it takes is one little push.





	Waiting for the Lights

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to arc_kakusei for being my wonderful beta reader for this! This wouldn't be as good as it is without her!

He didn’t get it. He didn’t get any of it. In fact, if he hadn’t practically been dragged out of his apartment, he wouldn’t even be here. It was dark. It was cold. It was noisy. There were too many people around. He had lost track of the number of times he’d accidentally been shoulder checked by a soccer mom chasing her screaming kids around. 

Everything just sucked. 

He’d lost feeling in his face somewhere close to an hour ago, the numbness offering little reprieve from the stinging wind. His hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his coat, balled into fists to preserve what little heat remained. His body was in a constant state of vibration, shivers running from his feet to his teeth almost painfully. His breath came out in puffs in front of him, blending in slightly with the white snow that covered most of the square he was standing in. 

He kept his eyes trained downward, a feeble attempt to stop the swelling of water on the edges of his vision thanks to the dry air. To anyone else, he would look like another nobody trying to fight the cold. But that wasn’t what he was. No, he was a  _ pissed _ nobody who was glaring at the snow as if it had fallen only to slight him. A loathing had been ever-building in him since he had stepped outside two hours ago and he wasn’t sure how much longer it was going to be until he reached his breaking point and just marched home. 

Fuck the snow. Fuck the cold. Fuck-

“Isn’t this great?!” A bubbly voice said from beside him, interrupting his silent fury. As he glanced up towards the source of the voice, he felt the weight of an arm fall across his shoulders, a warm body pressing lazily into his own. “It’s like...I can sense the magic in the air. Can you feel it, Keith?” 

“No.” Keith replied bluntly, voice low and ominous as he gave the brown-haired man next to him a sidelong glare. 

Lance either didn’t notice the look or chose to ignore it, the bright smile on his reddened face not faltering. With the little light that was present in the square, Keith could see the sparks of excitement dancing within Lance’s bright blue eyes as they darted back and forth across the gathered crowd. 

“Open your eyes then.” Lance said, chuckling slightly at Keith’s obvious irritation. “It’s everywhere.”

“You’re insane.” 

Lance laughed fully this time, leaning further into Keith’s side. “At least  _ I’m  _ enjoying myself.”  

The jab was a lighthearted one, not meant to go further than a passing comment. Keith knew that, but he still felt a pang of anger hit him right in the chest. “Of course I’m not enjoying myself. _ You _ dragged me out here. This was _ your _ idea.”  

Lance dismissed Keith’s frustration with a wave of his free hand, glancing over at the raven-haired man with a smirk. “But you agreed to come.”

“Yeah, only after you begged me to.” Keith countered. 

“I literally asked once.” 

“Not true…” Keith muttered, shrugging Lance’s arm off. 

“Yeah, okay.” Lance said with a small snort, smile not leaving his face. 

In truth, it hadn’t taken much convincing at all, a fact that Keith’s pride wouldn’t allow him to admit out loud. It had recently become increasingly harder for him to say no to Lance, which resulted in him being dragged around everywhere at the brown-haired man’s whim. And the worst part was he knew exactly why he couldn’t say no, and  _ it wasn’t his fault _ . How could he say no with those stupid blue eyes staring at him like that? How could he say no when butterflies erupted in his stomach every time he heard his unbearably smooth voice? How could he say no when every time he had to endure that insufferable musical laugh he felt like his chest was going to explode? 

He couldn’t. It was as simple as that. 

Keith shifted his gaze once more to the tall brown-haired man next to him, watching as he scanned the crowd again, practically bouncing up and down as he did. It was a different Lance than the one he had met four years ago and yet, also the same.

~~~~~

“304...305…” Keith muttered to himself as he walked down the long hall of what was to be his home for the next year. His eyes scanned the room numbers as he moved, hardly paying attention to the few other residents that passed him. He could hear small bits and pieces of conversation as he made his way further down the hall, most pertaining to the new school year that would begin in just a few short days. He supposed that was to be expected. What else did a bunch of freshmen have to talk about besides starting their first year of college? 

“There it is...308.” 

The door Keith stopped in front of looked like every other door that he had passed, save for the two names that were taped to the wood:  _ ‘Lance’  _ and  _ ‘Keith’ _ . 

Keith would have been lying if he said there wasn’t a bout of nausea that started to twist his stomach. It wasn’t that he was nervous to meet his new roommate, but rather the thought of having a roommate at all that sent him into his sickened state. He’d been on his own for a while now, not really having to share his space with anyone. To suddenly have to give that all up because of some stupid university rule about freshmen having to live on campus? He wasn’t too happy about that. 

“Better just get it over with…” Keith muttered as he grabbed the handle and pushed the door open. 

As the door swung open, Keith was hit with the scent of vanilla, the sweet smell not pungent enough to be overwhelming, but prominent enough to overcome the musty smell of the rest of the hall. It was...not what he was expecting, if he was being honest. As he got his first look into his new room, he noticed that the back half seemed to be the only section that was in use. A soft, light blue bedspread covered the lofted bed situated in the back left corner, the blankets tucked in neatly. Below the bed sat a desk, only a desk lamp and a laptop resting atop it. A grey rug was spread out across the floor, looking too clean to not be brand new. A dresser was pushed against the far wall so it sat somewhat in front of the large window, a small TV placed on top of it. Everything about the space was neat and clean. 

Everything besides the walls. 

Keith had never really had too much interest in other people’s lives. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, but that he couldn’t relate. He didn’t know what it was like to be a part of a family. He’d been on his own for as long as he could remember. But for a reason far beyond anything he could comprehend, Keith couldn’t tear his eyes away from the massive amount of photos taped to the walls. So many faces he didn’t know were staring back at him, some smiling while others looked annoyed. There were young faces that were making silly faces at the camera and old faces that seemed to hold the warmth of a love that Keith couldn’t understand. 

Looking closer, Keith could see one face that seemed to reappear over and over again. Tan skin and ocean blue eyes, with a smile that would look too bright if it were on anyone else’s face. This was Lance, his roommate, if he had to guess. He looked...carefree. And although Keith had never met this Lance, he somehow knew exactly who he was.

“Oh shit, it’s you.” A voice said from behind him, far too happy-sounding for the situation. “I was wondering when you were gonna get here.”

Keith looked over his shoulder to see an already familiar face. Blue eyes scanned him up and down casually. A lazy smile sat on his face, causing a pair of dimples to appear on his cheeks. His shoulders slouched as he rested his hands in the pockets of the jacket he wore, weight shifted to one side. 

“Yeah.” Was the only thing Keith offered up before he moved into the room, placing the few bags he had on the floor next to the unused bed. 

“If you need help bringing your stuff up, I can give ya a hand.” Lance offered, leaning his back against the doorframe. 

“No thanks.” Keith said, tone somewhat sharper than he intended. “I’ve already got it all.”

“Already got…? Wait, hold on. Are you saying that’s  _ all  _ you’ve got? Those three bags?”

Keith glanced back at the brown-haired man’s shocked face. “Yeah.”

“H-How?”

Keith let out a sigh of irritation but chose not to answer the question. He’d been through something similar to this countless times before and he really didn’t want to get into it with some guy he’d just met. Instead, Keith knelt down next to one of his bags and started to unpack it, hoping that his roommate would get the hint and leave him alone. 

But he was never that lucky. 

“So you’ve already decided on your ‘thing’ then?” 

Keith stopped what he was doing to look back at the man still leaning against the doorframe. “My what?”

“Your ‘thing’.” Lance replied, as if repeating himself was enough of an explanation.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Keith said, confusion overpowering the annoyance he would have otherwise been feeling.

“Ya know,” Lance said, pushing himself off the doorframe and taking a few steps into the room. “Your ‘thing’. For the floor. Everyone’s gonna know you as the silent, scary, mysterious guy. That’s your ‘thing’.” 

Keith didn’t respond for a moment, needing a minute to process what the hell Lance was talking about. After a few moments of silence, he asked, “Are you...some kind of idiot?”

A small chuckle came from Lance, followed by, “Depends on who you ask.”

Keith once again found himself not wanting to respond. Talking to this guy was hard. He felt like he knew what he  _ should  _ say, but the sentences wouldn’t form in his brain. It wasn’t uncomfortable, rather an unbalanced conversation. Like Keith was just along for the ride instead of an active participant. 

“I haven’t decided on what my ‘thing’ is gonna be.” Lance continued, not seeming to notice Keith’s inner struggle. “It’s kinda hard to choose, ya know?” 

“What’s wrong with the ‘thing’ you are now?” Keith asked, unsure of where that question had come from. 

Lance gave a small shrug, expression turning unreadable. “New place, new people. Who wouldn’t want to try out something new?”

Keith didn’t respond as he turned back to his task, feeling unsatisfied with that answer. He didn’t know why, but it sounded fake. Like Lance had rehearsed it beforehand. It was too simple, too straightforward. But Keith barely knew the guy. He was probably way off base. 

“Anyway, I’ll let you unpack.” Lance said, tone light. “Oh! And the name’s Lance, by the way...in case you already didn’t know. Well, see ya.”

Keith didn’t turn around as Lance left the room, instead looking back at the walls covered in photos. They were the same as before, but different. He didn’t know why, but he wondered if the Lance in the photos and the Lance he had just met were the same person.  

~~~~~

“Remind me again why we had to get here this early?” Keith grumbled, shifting his weight back and forth in some feeble attempt to make his body generate heat faster. 

“I’ve already told you like a hundred times.” Lance replied, not sounding at all annoyed. “To get the best spot in the square. From here we’ll be able to see everything. It’s gonna be worth the wait, I promise.” 

“And if it’s not?” Keith asked, mostly out of spite. 

Keith could almost hear Lance rolling his eyes. “It  _ will  _ be. Pidge promised that we wouldn’t be disappointed.”

“Pidge?”

Lance gave a nod. “Yeah, she’s the one who told me about this. Apparently, she’s gone to this thing since she was a kid...which makes sense, growing up here and all.”

Keith glanced around at the crowd of people. “So why isn’t she here then?”

“She is.” Lance replied casually. “Not sure where though. Hunk’s with her too.”

Keith felt a fire light inside him, an anger building that could only ever be caused by the tall brown-haired man standing next to him. “Are you kidding me?! Why didn’t you just go with them then instead of dragging me here?” He accompanied his sharp tone with a hard glare that would send most people hurrying in the opposite direction of him. 

But Lance wasn’t most people. 

Another musical laugh filled the air around them followed by blue eyes shifting to meet his glare. There was a soft smile on his face, something that caught Keith off guard enough to extinguish the flame inside him. 

“You always get extra broody around Christmas.” Lance said simply, words laced with something Keith couldn’t place. “So I thought getting you out of the apartment might be a good idea. You’re the worst when you just stew in your broodiness.”

Keith’s glare shifted into a look of confusion. “I’m...you...what?” 

Lance just shook his head, offering Keith a bright smile. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not really important.”

As Lance looked away from Keith, eyes returning to watching the many families surrounding them, Keith couldn’t help but continue to stare. He wasn’t surprised. This wasn’t the first time Lance had concocted some plan for someone else’s sake. No, this wasn’t even close to the first time. But for some reason, this time was different. Keith could hear it in Lance’s voice, see it in Lance’s face...Lance had been lying. 

No, that wasn’t it. It was more like he wasn’t telling Keith the full truth. He was hiding something. 

But what?

~~~~~

“Don’t talk to me! I’m in a really bad mood!” A voice shouted as the door to his and Lance’s dorm room flew open, slamming into the wall with a sound that made Keith wince. As Keith looked up from the paper he had been writing, he saw his roommate storm past him before collapsing onto his grey rug, sprawling out so he was on his back with a dark glare aimed at the ceiling. Keith let out a small sigh, knowing that what Lance really meant was ‘talk to me right now or I’m gonna be in a shitty mood for the rest of the week.’ 

The past month and a half of living with Lance had been...an experience. Keith had gone into this whole roommate situation thinking that he would be civil towards whoever he ended up rooming with and nothing more. A mutual tolerance, so to speak. But he had been sorely mistaken. Civility was not enough for Lance. Oh no, Lance wanted to know Keith. Like,  _ know  _ Keith. 

The first couple of weeks were spent with Lance asking him every single question the brown-haired man could think of. Whether Keith chose to answer or not was a different story, but that didn’t stop Lance from asking. And just when Keith thought it couldn’t get any worse, Lance started bringing other people from the floor by to meet him. And of course they wanted to know all about him too. And then those people started to stop by to drag Keith out of the room. Sometimes it was to hang out and play video games. Sometimes it was to go grab something to eat. Sometimes it was simply to ask for his advice. 

All of this had led up to one truth that Keith could no longer deny: he had friends. And the weirdest part was that it was all thanks to Lance, a guy that was willing to put up with Keith’s rough exterior without seeming to mind at all. 

Keith shut his laptop and turned in his chair to face Lance, crossing his arms over his chest as he did. “Why are you in a bad mood?”

Lance let out a heavy huff before saying, “Why did no one tell me?”

“Why did no one tell you what?” Keith asked patiently. 

Lance sat up, directing his glare a Keith. “I bet even you knew, didn’t you?”

Keith let out a sigh and said, “Lance, I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“My ‘thing’!” Lance shouted, grabbing his hair and falling backwards onto the floor again. “Allura just told me what my ‘thing’ was!” 

“Wait, you still care about that?” Keith asked, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“What do you mean? Of course I do!” 

“But it’s been over a month.” Keith replied, deciding to just go along with Lance on this. “If you care about having a ‘thing’, why didn’t you just choose one sooner?” 

Another irritated huff came out of the brown-haired man on the floor. “I couldn’t decide. But it doesn’t even matter now…”

“Because of what Allura said?”

“Yeah…”

“Which was…?” Keith prompted, trying his best not to roll his eyes at Lance’s dramatics. 

Lance kept his eyes trained on the ceiling as he answered, blocking Keith from being able to fully read his expression. “Goofball…” He muttered, barely loud enough for Keith to hear. 

“Goofball? What’s so bad about that? It’s better than ‘stick in the mud’ or, I dunno, being the floor creep.” Keith said, not really sure what the big deal was. 

Lance sat up again, pulling his knees up to his chest, still avoiding looking Keith in the eyes. There was a vulnerability to his expression that Keith had never seen before. Lance was usually bright and full of life. But now? Now he looked lost. 

And the scariest part was that it concerned Keith more than it should have. 

“It’s not bad…” Lance said, voice sounding small. Almost like he didn’t want Keith to hear him. “It’s just not…” Lance trailed off, reaching down with one hand to tug at the rug absentmindedly. 

“Not…?” Keith asked patiently.  

There was silence in the room, a million unnameable emotions running across Lance’s face. Keith waited, understanding the situation enough to know that whatever was going on with Lance was important to him. Keith didn’t know why nor could he start to comprehend just how important, but he did know that this wasn’t the first time Lance had thought about this. It was apparent in his demeanor now. 

After what seemed like too long, Lance finally said, “...enough. It’s not enough.”

“Enough?” Keith asked, confused. “Enough for who?”

Lance glanced up at him, stormy blue eyes swirling with a doubt that Keith had never seen before. “Who else? Me.” 

Keith felt something inside him break, though he didn’t know what. The Lance he was staring at was not the roommate he knew. He knew the Lance that was strong and loud and just wanted to be friends with everybody. He knew the Lance that was always smiling, trying his best to make others around him do the same. He knew the Lance that was understanding and caring and, above all, the polar opposite of Keith himself. But right now? Right now Keith had a feeling that he was getting a glimpse into the real Lance. The Lance that was hiding behind that mask of a smile he wore. And it was heartbreaking. 

Keith didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to do. So in the end, he did nothing. Said nothing. And eventually, Lance stood up and left the room, not so much as even glancing in Keith’s direction. 

~~~~~

“Ya know, it’s gonna be really weird.” Lance said, craning his head to look up at the small flakes of snow that had started to drift downward from the pitch black sky. “Not living together anymore, I mean.”

Keith also looked up, noticing for the first time that night that not even the moon could be seen. The vast night sky seemed to stretch on for miles above him, enveloping the square completely. It would be suffocating if not for the security that Lance provided simply by standing right next to him. 

“We still have another semester, ya know.” Keith pointed out, his voice not nearly as harsh as it had been.

“I know.” Lance said, his voice airy. “But when you live with someone for four years, you get used to them being around.” 

Keith couldn’t help the way his heart sped up in his chest, the smallest of smiles creeping onto his face. “I suppose. But you’re going on to bigger and better things, right? You don’t need me around anymore.” 

And it was true. It hurt to think about, but Lance was moving on to the next step in his life, as was Keith. The time for college roommates, late night study parties that were more partying and less studying, and worrying about graduating was almost over. And as much as Keith hated it, it meant them going their separate ways. And that’s why he would never tell Lance his true feelings. Why add extra pain to something that was already painful enough? Keith didn’t see the point. 

“Need you?” Lance said with an amused snort. “You’re the one who needs me. How many times have I had to literally drag you away from your laptop just to get you to eat something?” 

Keith chuckled slightly before saying, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Lance nudged Keith with his shoulder playfully. “Liar.”

Keith only smiled as the two continued to stare upwards. It was strange. As Keith looked up, he found that he no longer could feel the sting of the cold. The wind that brushed past his face was soothing, shifting his hair ever-so-gently. The noise of the gathered crowd had faded away, now just a distant memory. It was peaceful, just him and Lance. 

“Hey…Just so you know, you’re still invited to Christmas even after we graduate. I’m pretty sure my mom would throw a fit if you didn’t show up.” Lance said, a slight shake to his voice which he tried to cover up with a cough. 

“I’m sure she would. Then she’d blame you for chasing me away.” 

“Exactly. So you better keep showing up.”

“I will.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” 

~~~~~

“What do you mean you’re just going to stay at a hotel for a few weeks?!” Lance shouted in surprise, expression a mixture of shock and horror. “You can’t spend Christmas alone! Why don’t you go home?” 

Keith felt his shoulders tense up at that question, fingers involuntarily dropping his pen onto his notebook that was open in front of him. He had known that question had been a long time coming. For all of Lance’s prodding, Keith had purposefully never talked about anything to do with his family...or lack thereof. He had steered clear, knowing that people started to look at him differently after they found out that he’d been an orphan most of his life. Even so, he knew that it was inevitable that Lance would find out someday. It seemed that day was today. 

Keith kept his eyes trained down at the plethora of study material that was spread out on the table in front of him. He could feel the stares of other nearby students boring into his back, attention no doubt being drawn by Lance’s loudness. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Keith said, knowing that Lance wouldn’t be satisfied with that answer. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Oh yeah? Well if it’s not a big deal, why won’t you look at me right now?” Lance replied, tone fierce.

“Because I’m trying to focus on actually studying for our final tomorrow.” Keith lied, his mind a million miles away from the notes in front of him.

“Bullshit.”

“Whatever.”

“Keith.” 

“Lance.”

“Goddammit, will you please just look at me?” Lance’s tone had softened, his words more of a plea than a demand. 

Keith knew he shouldn’t. He knew that looking at Lance would cause his walls to crumble. There was something about Lance that made Keith weak. Lance had a way of worming his way into Keith’s mind like no one else could. It was infuriating...but also liberating. So maybe that was why Keith found his gaze rising to meet Lance’s, ocean blue meeting deep indigo. 

“Why aren’t you going home over break?” Lance asked, tone unchanged. 

Keith sighed, running a hand through his hair, trying to give himself enough time to get his thoughts in order. “I don’t...really have...a home to go back to...I guess.”

Lance was silent for a moment before saying, “Explain.”

Keith shifted under Lance’s gaze, wanting nothing more than to change the topic. He knew, however, that Lance wasn’t going to drop the subject until Keith gave him what he wanted. “I’ve...been on my own for a while. Living on my own and stuff. When I came here, I had to give up my apartment. I couldn’t pay rent and tuition. So...right now my only home is here and since they’re kicking us out over break, a hotel it is.”

“What about your parents?” Lance asked, a concerned expression on his face. 

Keith ignored the pang that hit him square in the chest and said, “Gone. For a long time now.”

“Are they…?” Lance asked softly. 

“Yeah…” Keith said, dropping his gaze back to the table, not able to withstand the emotions flowing through Lance’s eyes. “My mom just after I was born and my dad when I was five. I don’t really remember them so it’s fine.”

Lance didn’t say anything, and Keith didn’t blame him. No one ever knew what to say. That’s how it went. Why would this time be any different?

“Come home with me.” 

Keith glanced up again, startled at Lance’s sudden declaration. “...What?”

“After finals. Spend the break at my house.” Lance replied with a nod. “It’ll be way better than being alone in some hotel.” 

“Your...house...?” Keith said, his brain not really processing the words.

“It’ll be great. My mom is always saying the more the merrier so why not? You could spend Christmas with us. Oh, and New Year’s too! We always throw this big party and my mom loves it when the house is full, so she’d definitely let you stay with us. And you could meet all of my siblings. They’re great...well, okay. Most of them are. But still, they’d love to meet you too!”

Lance continued to ramble as Keith thought over the offer. Spend Christmas with Lance’s family? Where had that even come from? He’d never been offered something like that before. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do? He didn’t know. 

“Listen,” Keith said, cutting Lance off. “I appreciate the offer...but me and family and Christmas and all that stuff don’t really go together, so...”

“Have you ever tried?” Lance asked, leaning forward on the table. 

“Tried?” Keith said, cocking his head to the side. “No, not really. Never really had the chance.”

“Then it’s settled.” Lance said with a nod. “You’re coming home with me over break.”

“Wait, I never said-”

“It’s settled, Keith. Deal with it.”

“O-Okay…” 

~~~~~

“Getting closer.” Lance said, excitement returning to his voice as he looked at the time on his phone. “What do you think it’ll be like?”

“Bright.” Keith said in a flat voice. 

“Well, duh.” Lance said amusedly. “I meant, like, feeling-wise.” 

“Feeling-wise?” 

“Yeah.” Lance replied with a nod. “Like maybe I’ll start to cry from how beautiful it is-”

“Please don’t do that.” 

“Or maybe I’ll be speechless, my breath just completely taken away!” 

“That wouldn’t be so bad.” 

“Or! Maybe I’ll have a sudden epiphany inspired by the beauty around me!” 

“Epiphany?” Keith asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend. 

“Sure, why not?” Lance replied with a shrug. “Like realizing that the thing I was looking for was in front of me all along.” 

Keith ignored the fluttering in his stomach, knowing that nothing good could come from letting himself believe that anything like that could ever happen. “Isn’t that kinda cliché? Sounds like something from a movie.” 

“Hmm...maybe. But movies have to get it from somewhere, right? It could happen.” Lance replied, a distant smile forming on his lips. “Maybe it’ll happen to you.” 

“Me? Yeah, I don’t think so.” 

Lance sighed. “I guess not. That’s not really your style.” There was a resignation to Lance’s words, a sorrow that seemed to hang in the air around them. As with so many things about Lance, it caught Keith off guard. Lance’s words passed through all his defenses, hitting him right in his soul. He could feel something tear and it hurt more than Keith thought possible. 

But why?

Keith didn’t know. For all of the time he’d spent with Lance, he was still a mystery. He was unpredictable. He was ever-changing, like water slipping through Keith’s fingers. Uncatchable. Incomprehensible...and yet? Keith had never been able to understand someone as well as he understood Lance. There was a truth to Lance that was hidden among the unknowns. There was a sincerity mixed in with all of the uncertainties. There was a hope buried deep in the despair. 

Lance was the life that Keith had never seen in himself. 

And as Keith tried to understand the unseen regret laced into Lance’s words, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was really ready to let go. Come May, would he be able to just walk away? 

~~~~~

The smell of stale dust hung in the air, mixing with the fresh August air that wafted in from the open window. The only light in the room came from the rays of the setting sun that were slowly growing dimmer, bright yellows turning to dull oranges. The sound from the occasional car could be heard passing by the building on the streets below, but nothing else. All was peaceful. All was calm. Just the way Keith liked it. 

“Holy shit! Our neighbors have a dog!” 

Keith felt his shoulders tense up at the sudden disturbance, not having to turn around to know who it was. A tired sigh came from his mouth followed by a small chuckle. He should’ve known that nothing was ever calm while Lance was around. But he was used to that by now. He’d become a master at putting up with Lance after living with him for two years. 

“So that’s where you ran off to. And here I thought you ditched me so I had to do all the unpacking by myself.” Keith said in a flat voice, still not looking over his shoulder at his roommate. 

“I did  _ not  _ ditch you.”  Came Lance’s defensive reply. “I was just introducing myself to the neighbors so you didn’t have to. You don’t exactly have a welcoming face...or personality...or really anything, for that matter.” 

Keith finally stopped what he was doing long enough to shoot a deadly glare at the tall brown-haired man. 

“See?” Lance said, not even flinching. “Scary. No one wants to meet that.” 

Keith let out an irritated huff before turning back to the box he was unpacking and said, “Well now that you’re back, you can start unpacking the kitchen stuff your mom bought for us.”

A small whine came from Lance’s mouth followed by the sound of a body hitting the floor. Keith knew what that meant. That meant that Lance had just collapsed into his trademark ‘I don’t want to do anything so I’m just gonna lay here’ pose. “But unpacking is so boring.”

“Why should that matter?” Keith asked, rolling his eyes. 

“The fact that you even have to ask that question offends me.” Lance replied. 

Keith couldn’t help the amused smile that appeared on his face, glad that his back was to Lance so he couldn’t see it. 

A comfortable silence fell over the room as Keith worked. No matter what he said, he really didn’t mind Lance not helping. It honestly wasn’t even that surprising. When it came to important things, Lance would be the first to offer his help. His determination and focus were unwavering. But trivial things like unpacking? It would probably take at least two weeks for him to unpack any of his stuff.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Lance asked, breaking the silence. 

“Sure.”

“Am I… Do you think…” Lance trailed off, causing Keith to look back at him again. Lance wasn’t even looking at Keith, instead staring at the ceiling, brows furrowed like he was trying to solve some complex problem. “Am I still...ya know...a goofball?”

Keith felt something inside him seize up at the question, the comfortable atmosphere of the room shifting to a fragile tension. “Are you still worried about that? It’s been two years.”

Lance still didn’t look at him as he spoke, his voice almost too low for Keith to hear. “You think it’s stupid, don’t you? Or childish? To worry about something like that?” 

Keith shook his head. “It’s not that. I just don’t know  _ why  _ you’re so worried about it.” 

“Why? It’s not really a secret.” Lance said, shifting his gaze to meet Keith’s. “Haven’t you ever wanted to be more than yourself? More than the thing people label you as?”

“I’ve...never really thought about it.” Keith admitted honestly. And he hadn’t. It had never really occurred to him to care about what people thought of him. He supposed he never really had that luxury. 

“Well I have.” Lance said, his words holding a rawness to them that seemed to shake Keith to his very core. “I thought that moving away from home, going to college, meeting new people...maybe I could be more than just the goofball. Maybe I could be something useful. Something that people could depend on.” Lance paused for a moment, turning his gaze back to the ceiling with a sigh. “But it’s harder to change who you are than I thought.” 

“Change who you are?” Keith muttered to himself, finding that the words seemed to not sit right with him. It wasn’t that he thought Lance was lying, but rather that Lance shouldn’t be saying those words at all. And the more he thought about it, the more Keith came to realize that the Lance he saw everyday might not be the same person Lance saw in the mirror every day. 

Keith stood from where he was kneeling and moved across the room towards Lance, a single motivation influencing his actions. Lance didn’t even look at him as Keith drew closer, his stormy blue eyes remaining fixed on the ceiling. His expression was blank, but Keith knew that there was probably more going on in his head than he could even imagine. Better to put a stop to it now. 

“Hey.” Keith said, nudging the brown-haired man with his foot. He then knelt down just above Lance’s head, placing his palms on either side of his head and leaning over him, forcing him to look him in the eyes. “You’re really dumb.”

“Geez, tell me how you really feel.” Lance said, narrowing his eyes slightly at Keith. 

Keith ignored him, instead saying, “Yes, you are a goofball and you will  _ always  _ be a goofball. That’s not gonna change.” 

Keith saw Lance’s eyes go wide, a look of hurt spreading across his face. Again, Keith ignored it. 

“I don’t know where you got it into your head that that’s a bad thing, but you’re wrong.” Keith said, voice stern. “Look, I’m the last person anyone should ask about this kinda stuff, but the way I see it, being a goofball  _ means _ everyone depends on you.”

“...What?” Lance asked, voice sounding small. 

“It’s the goofball’s job to keep everyone happy, right? To make them laugh? Make sure no one gets too stressed?”

Lance didn’t respond, Keith’s words seeming to have too strong of an impact. It didn’t matter, though. Keith just kept talking. 

“I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a lot of responsibility to me. I couldn’t do it, but you can...and  _ do.  _ Without any effort at all. That’s a talent I bet a lot of people wish they had.” 

Lance remained silent, blue eyes swirling with an emotion that Keith couldn’t place. 

“So yes, you’re dumb.” Keith said, his voice softening. “You’re dumb because you had to have some scary, reclusive nobody explain that to you.” 

There was silence between them. Neither said a word as they looked at each other, blue eyes meeting indigo. Looking down at Lance, the shock still evident on his face, Keith found that for the first time, he was really  _ looking  _ at Lance. The orange rays of the sun lit up his face, causing his tan skin to glow almost golden. Keith could see the pain. He could see the years Lance had spent trying to change. He could see the heartache Lance felt every time he was called a goofball. He could see the mask Lance wore, pretending that he was fine. Pretending that everything was okay. 

Keith could see it all, but the only thing he could think of was the day they met two years ago. The day that Keith had opened the door and seen the walls covered in pictures. At the time, Keith had wondered if the Lance in the photos was the same Lance as the one he had met in person. He knew now they weren’t. The Lance he was looking at now was the Lance who doubted himself. The Lance who thought his greatest asset was his biggest weakness. A Lance who had allowed his insecurities to overpower him. 

Keith had never really asked for anything before. Most of the time he just took what was handed to him and dealt with it. But for the first time, Keith found himself asking the universe if he could meet the Lance in those photos. He had a feeling that that Lance would be someone really important to him. 

~~~~~ 

“Ya know, I’ve never really thanked you, have I?”

Keith looked over to see Lance looking back at him, a warm smile on his face. “Thanked me? For what?” 

“A lot of things, really.” Lance replied with a small chuckle. “Putting up with me these past four years for starters. Pidge once told me she thought you were crazy for agreeing to be my roommate for so long.”

“I could say the same about you, ya know.” Keith said lightly. “I’m not exactly the easiest person to get along with, I know that.” 

“True…” Lance said, seeming to get lost in thought for a moment. “But I also think that I would’ve hated to have anyone else as a roommate. Is that a weird thing to say?”

Keith shrugged. “Not really. I know what you mean.” 

“And…” Lance said slowly, eyes shifting to scan the surrounding crowd. “Thanks for that one time…”

“One time?” Keith asked, giving the brown-haired man a curious look. 

“Back when we first moved into the apartment at the start of junior year.” Lance explained, his voice soft, almost inaudible over the noise of the crowd. “You told me exactly what I needed to hear exactly when I needed to hear it. I still don’t know how you knew what to say…” 

“Oh...that.” Keith said, images of that golden scene playing out in his mind. He also had no idea why he said the things he did. If he had to guess, he’d say-

“Maybe you were just telling me the truth that I was too stupid to realize.” Lance said with a small laugh. “But I guess it doesn’t really matter.”

Keith didn’t respond, finding that all the things he wanted to say wouldn’t form into words. Instead, he just let Lance talk and listened. Keith had learned long ago that the only way to truly figure out what was going on in Lance’s head was to listen. Why had Lance brought him here tonight? Why did it feel like this was more than just two friends hanging out? Keith had a feeling that he was about to find out. 

“It’s almost time.” Lance said, the smile still on his face. “I feel like we’ve been waiting forever. The countdown should start any minute now.”

“And when it reaches zero?” Keith asked quietly, not even sure if Lance could hear him. 

Another soft chuckle came from the brown-haired man. “I really don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

As if on cue, the voices of the gathered crowd around them came together in unison, echoing off into the black night as one. “Ten!...Nine!...”

Keith didn’t join in, his eyes trained on Lance’s face. There was that same resignation that Keith had seen before in his eyes, but this time it didn’t seem like he had given up. It looked as if he had simply accepted whatever fate had in store for him. It was a comforting resignation, Keith found. Something that kept his feet firmly planted on the ground despite whatever was about to happen. 

“Eight!...Seven!...”

The pounding in his chest grew, his heart seeming to have a mind of its own. An anticipation was building within him. For what, he didn’t know. But he felt like he’d been waiting for it for a long time. 

“Six!...Five!...”

Keith looked up again, drinking in the December night once more. He watched as the snowflakes continued to fall from seemingly nowhere. It was almost as if the universe had sent them down just for him. 

“Four!...Three!...”

Keith closed his eyes, knowing that the next time he opened them, the world would be different. He was ready for it. Whatever it may be. 

“Two!...One!”

When he opened his eyes, everything was bright. The cheers of the crowd fell away to nothing as Keith’s breath caught in his throat. It was like he was standing in a sea of stars, the night sky having fallen around him. The lights that were strung on every branch, in every bush, on...just everything gave off a yellow glow that sparkled against the snow-covered ground. They all shone with a beauty that could only be found in movies. But this was real. A warmth started to spread throughout his chest born from the regret of missing out on something so breathtaking for so long. It didn’t seem fair. 

“Any epiphanies?” He heard Lance ask from next to him, his voice more gentle than Keith had ever heard it before. 

Keith tore his eyes away long enough to look at Lance, blue eyes meeting indigo like they had so many times before. But this time Keith could see the golden light reflected in them, illuminating the very emotions that Lance usually kept hidden. And that’s when Keith saw it. 

Hope. The kind of hope that could only come from one thing and one thing alone. 

“Who needs epiphanies when you already know what you want?” Keith asked, matching Lance’s tone as best he could. 

“You...already know?” Lance asked, a slight stutter in his words. 

“I do.” Keith said, turning to face Lance fully for the first time that night. “Is that okay?” 

Lance gave a small nod, taking a small step closer to Keith. “Yeah…” 

“It’s not gonna be easy, you know that right?” Keith asked seriously.  

“Is it naive of me to say that I don’t care?” Lance replied, taking another step. The two were almost touching now, Keith having to look up to maintain eye contact. He could feel Lance’s breath ghost past his face, causing his heart to beat even harder than it already had been. 

“Very.” Keith said, not putting anything behind the word. He knew that it wouldn’t matter in the end. The step had already been taken. The line had been crossed as soon as the lights came on. 

“But if I do my job, then it won’t ever seem hard, right?” Lance asked, his tone indicating that he already knew the answer. 

“Then I’ll leave it up to you.” Keith replied softly. 

No more words were spoken as Lance leaned down and captured Keith’s lips with his own, the kiss slow and sweet. Keith felt something inside him erupt as arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer. He answered in kind by wrapping his arms around Lance’s neck, deepening the kiss. 

And it was there, surrounded by the lights they had waited so long for, that Keith finally knew exactly who Lance was. And he was sure he was never going to let him go. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!  
> This is based off a little event that happens in my hometown every year. I know that it is always a really magical moment for me so I'm hoping that I was able to share some of that magic through this story. Sounds cheesy, right?  
> Anyway, if you liked what you read, feel free to check out my other stuff and you can even follow me on tumblr [@wingsofvoltron](https://wingsofvoltron.tumblr.com/) for updates on my writing (also more of that sweet Klance content if you're into that sorta thing).  
> See ya around, 
> 
> ~Redjay


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